I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT COP

BUT I TRIED TO

BY LISA RICHARDS

August 29, 2007

Republican Senator Larry Craig of Idaho needs to learn to ask police officers arresting him to define verbs, adverbs and nouns; it might save his career and make him a sexaholioc hero in the eyes of the Americans who fell in love with America’s most beloved rapist Bill Clinton.

Senator Craig, who has been accused of being gay since the 1980’s and has preached traditional values for years, was arrested in June of 2007 on charges of lewd conduct at Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport in Minnesota. At the time of the arrest, Craig did not deny he tried to solicit sex when first asked; in fact, the Senator pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct when he appeared in the Hennepin County District Court to pay fines over $500 dollars with a 10 day stayed jail sentence turned to one year probation as of August 8, 2007.

According to the undercover arresting officer, Craig allegedly “lingered outside” the officer’s bathroom stall peeping at the cop, looking down at his own hands and “fidget[ting] with his fingers” then would peep through the crack in the cop’s stall, repeating these actions for two minutes. The officer stated in the report that Craig entered the stall next to his, placed his bags against the stall door as some kind of a signal used between men who want to engage in public bathroom sex. The officer says he could see Craig’s “shoes and ankles to the left of me.”

The undercover officer stated in his report that Craig procceeded to tap his right foot three times; “I recognized this as the signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct.” Craig is then said to have tapped his toes three times while moving his foot under the cops stall touching the cops foot.  The officer says he then signaled with his left hand for Craig to exit the stall because Craig was under arrest.

I thought I had heard it all but apparently not. Men are having sex in public bathrooms, which are filthy enough without dirtying them further by engageing in public bathroom sex.

Craig even apologized for his misconduct back in June. Now the Senator claims he didn’t try to engage in homosexual sex with a cop and didn’t mean what he stated in the arresting report when he said he did try to have sex with the cop in the airport and claimed he is gay. Now the traditional values Senator claims he did not really say what the report states he said.

Craig is now retaining an attorney, claiming on Tuesday August 28, 2007 he is not gay and made a mistake pleading guilty to charges of trying to solicit sex in the boy’s room. “I am not gay. I never have been gay…While I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct in the Minneapolis Airport or anywhere else, I chose to plead guilty to a lesser charge in hopes of making it go away. I wasn’t eager to share this failure but I should have anyway because I am not gay.”

Craig further told reporters “I overreacted and made a poor decision” when  arrested by the police officer. Craig explained he never hired a lawyer back in June but has since to assess the scandal and advise Craig on how to handle the situation as it procceeds forward hoping his “family, friends and staff will forgive him” and hopes “his fellow Idahoans,” whom he “brought a cloud over” will also forgive him as he seeks reelection to continue what he calls “accomplish[ing] a lot for Idaho.”

Apparently he is good at accomplishing bathroom tasks.

So Senator, you are on record as pleading guilty to being gay even though you’re not? Then you come out to the press to plead innocence to pleading gay and alleged guilt to the charges of misconduct stating “I did nothing wrond at the airport.” Gay men of America thank you Senator; even gay men would call that taking it like a girl.

Police Officer Adam Snedler says that on June 22, 2007, Senator Craig  went to the police station where he was booked stating no one had contacted him concerning the case and he needed to retain a lawyer. On August 1, 2007, Craig signed papers stating he was guilty then paid $575 dollars in fines and received the 20 day stayed sentence.

Why allow that proccess to procceed if you’re innocent?

Why didn’t Craig plead innocent and retain a lawyer the very first time when he was accused of peeking into the stall of a police officer? The officer claims Craig was peeping through the stall door crack, placing his foot under the door, tapping three times to signal he wanted to engage in homosexual sex with the officer. If none of this happened, why wasn’t Craig screaming fowl play from the top of the Dome when first accused? Why did he admit to misconduct only to now take it all back? Is the cop telling the truth? Is Craig telling the truth or lying since he first pleaded guilty and is now claiming innocence.

It’s a little too late for Craig. Republican leadership on the Hill is calling for an ethics investigation. Craig resigned from the Mitt Romney Campaign Monday August 27, 2007. If he’s innocent, why resign; because he admitted to sexual misconduct in June and is taking the admittance back now that a scandal has erupted. Craig should have tried E-mailing the cop via his Blackberry; even Mark Foley had enough sense to commit wrongful sex acts by way of the internet.

Word of warning to Senator Craig; if you have a stained blue shirt hidden in your closet, burn it now!

copyright 2007 Lisa Richards

www.lisa-richards.com

E-Mail: www.lisa-richards@lisa-richards.com