CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE HOBBIT KIND

THE IDIOT OF THE WEEK: DENNIS KUCINICH

BY LISA RICHARDS

November 9, 2007

I’ve pretty much come to expect anything to slip out of the mouth of presidential candidates nowadays. They name-call, they caterwaul like spoiled brats, they regale us with tales of their mill workin’ daddies, struggling moms (I’m waiting to hear how they walked twenty miles to school without shoes), gave a hamster mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, got a splinter in the a** in Vietnam in order to become a decorated war hero, met a poor person with one leg, one arm and no teeth because Republicans refuse to let poor people live like humans, and have had to struggle distressfully in an all boys political club. The nauseating list goes on and on to the point one wonders when the mother ship will land and take them all back from whence they came.

And then it does; right in the middle of the Democrat Presidential Debate.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize Dennis Kucinich is not a normal man. Let’s face it; the man is a Hobbit, which would undoubtedly make Hillary Clinton Sauron. But nonetheless, the man is definitely something from a Tolkien fairy tale. And he apparently lives in a fairy tale world, because Martians have appeared to Dennis Kucinich. 

That’s right; Presidential Candidate Congressman Dennis Kucinich told an audience at a recent Presidential Debate that he has seen UFO’s. Kucinich stated: “It was an unidentified flying object…and I'm also going to move my campaign office to Roswell, New Mexico…and also, you have to keep in mind that Jimmy Carter saw a UFO.”

Oh that really validates the claim with authoritative normality: the anti-American commie-loving Carter sees Martians. Maybe after a couple jars of homemade hooch.

The most authentic source of proof Kucinich has to back his Star Trek claims is none other than the many-lives-lived actress Shirley MacClain. That’s right; Miss MacClain stated Kucinich “saw a gigantic triangular craft, silent and observing him. It hovered for about ten minutes or so and sped away with a speed he [Kucinich] couldn’t comprehend.”

Oh please! Triangular, hovers low, is very silent, flies at very high speed…

Comprehend this you crossed-over imbecile and elfin geek: Stealth Bomber!

This is what’s in charge of the state of Ohio’s lives: a man who believes in Martians. And he’s no Bill Bixby ladies.

No one should be shocked over Kucinich’s close encounters of the loose canon kind. What can one expect from a man who placed an ad in newspapers looking to find a woman for his last presidential run? Shirley’s single, she sees dead people and Kucinich sees UFO’s. It’s a perfect match.

What is crazier is Kucinich is serious. He believes he saw a UFO. He never took into account the military has fighter planes resembling things he so obviously watches and believes on the Sci/Fi channel. Apparently he is vying for the Sci/Fi Convention vote. That would be men his age who live in their mother’s basements with a wardrobe of William Shatner uniforms.

When a college educated democrat makes Ozzy Osborne look clear-headed, it’s time for democrats to shut down their party and come to the realization that it’s over; Rudy’s going to kick their butts back to Mordor.

copyright 2007 Lisa Richards

www.lisa-richards.com

lisa-richards@lisa-richards.com